Holding On Page 5

  The bridesmaid’s dresses were in a similar style but they were ordered in a vibrant shade of sky blue. The color complimented each of their very different coloring. Lily with her creamy complexion and golden ringlets. Carly with her soft, glowing tan and strawberry blond tresses. Jemma and her cinnamon colored skin and long, ebony locks.

  “It really is perfect,” Carly said, all teasing aside.

  “I’m getting married,” Quinn muttered as she stared at her reflection. This was the weekend that Jake had originally set aside for his proposal. Before fate decided to hurry things along. The last few months had flown by. Quinn had been plenty busy with her part-time job as a bank teller, school, finals and wedding planning.

  “Yes, sweetie, you are definitely getting married,” Lily said, looking amused.

  “Tomorrow you are going to be Mrs. Jake McGrath,” Jemma announced in a sing-song voice as she made a show of sizing Quinn up. “All these years I always figured you’d be Mrs. McGrath. Just not Mrs. Jacob McGrath,” she teased.

  Having been one of Quinn’s best friends all through high school, Jemma was entirely aware of how severe and how long-lasting Quinn’s crush on Luke had been. In fact, all three of the young women that had crammed themselves into the fitting room were well aware of it.

  Quinn was not the least bit surprised that Jemma was the only one that felt the need to bring it up.

  She scowled playfully at her. “No talk of that! Please!” she said.

  She was sure Jake had no idea how she’d felt about his brother at one time. No need to tell him. Not now. Maybe when they were old and gray and sitting on the porch, rocking their days away. But not now. Now, it just felt kind of embarrassing. And more than a little bit wrong. And since nothing had ever, or would ever, come of it, she saw no point in embarrassing herself by bringing it up. She was sure Jake would find the whole thing funny. Funny enough to share with Luke. And well…that would be mortifying.

  Especially because lately Luke hadn’t been acting like himself around her. In fact, if she was going to be honest with herself, it seemed like he’d been going out of his way to avoid her. She found his behavior hurtful but hadn’t wanted to bring it up to Jake. Doing so would’ve felt like whining about Luke behind his back. She had often wondered if maybe Luke didn’t like the idea of her and Jake together. It wasn’t as if she’d actually thought to ask him his opinion.

  She and Jake had happened out of the blue. She’d fallen hard and fast. And now, well, it was too late to wonder about whether or not Luke was okay with that. But they were going to be family and she wanted desperately for this awkwardness between them to go away.

  He hadn’t been back to town for a while or she would’ve talked to him about it. It just didn’t feel like the old days of their friendship when she could just pick up the phone and call him anytime. That didn’t mean that she hadn’t tried. He’d simply refused to take her calls. Not only didn’t he answer but he’d never called her back. So she’d stopped asking him to. It pissed her off and hurt her feelings all at the same time.

  She’d finally decided that his attitude had to have something do with Jake. He probably felt uncomfortable that she was dating his brother. But he could have just talked to her about it. He didn’t have to be such an ass about it. He was acting childish, leaving town like that.

  She had decided that she would try to get him alone this weekend. Marrying Jake should bring them closer, not cause such a huge chasm between them. If he was upset with her she wanted to try to make things right.

  If she could.

  Or maybe the whole thing was in her head.

  Doubtful. But possible.

  “Our lips are sealed,” Lily assured her. She had mistaken the frown on her face for fear of her secret getting out.

  “Thanks,” Quinn murmured.

  She took a few deep breaths as she stared at herself in the mirror of the oversized fitting room that the four of them had crammed into. No alterations were needed this time around. The empire waistline was seated comfortably high on her stomach. This was it. She was bringing the dress home. Tomorrow, she would be wearing it.

  Usually the final fitting would’ve been scheduled in advance but just to be cautious, due to her “condition” the owner of the small boutique offered to make an exception. She kept the dress until the day before the wedding in case any emergency alterations needed to be made.

  They didn’t. The dress was quite lovely on her.

  “You look like a freaking princess,” Jemma said with a grin. She was standing behind Quinn, looking at her reflection over her shoulder. “With the up-do you picked out and the dainty little tiara, you’re going to look like you just walked out of a fairy tale. Jake’s going to be blown away.”

  Quinn had begun to carefully wiggle out of the dress. “Thanks. Now if the weather holds up, everything might be perfect.”

  They were getting married at the park. The same park where Jake had proposed so that they would have the lake as a backdrop. A huge tent would be set up. That way they had protection against the sun or the rain, whichever the case may be. Quinn was desperately hoping for sun.

  “The forecast looks good,” Lily said decisively. And so far, it did.

  Carly took the dress from Quinn and carefully placed it on the hanger while her sister squirmed back into her shorts and top.

  “So now what? Lunch?” This coming from Jemma.

  Quinn’s stomach growled at the mention of food. She scrunched her face up in apology as a blush stole across her cheeks.

  “I guess we’re going to lunch,” Carly said with a laugh.

  *~*~*

  “I’m just saying,” Jemma continued on, “that I don’t think I ever want kids. First pregnancy? I’ve heard you get hemorrhoids, gas, stretch marks. You can’t walk without waddling—”

  “Hey!” Quinn said as she cut her off. She wasn’t really offended. It was just Jemma being Jemma. “I do not waddle!” she said as she pointed a French fry at her friend.

  Jemma pointed her fork at Quinn and raised her eyebrows. “Not yet! But you’ve been warned!”

  Quinn looked down at the half-eaten cheeseburger and serving of fries on her plate. She’d been starving. Now she wondered if she should’ve ordered a salad. Or at the very least, the grilled chicken breast. She did not want to be a waddler.

  “Come on Jemma,” Lily nagged. “It’s not all bad. I’ve heard your boobs triple in size. Not to mention an increase in sex drive.”

  Jemma’s eyes fell to Quinn’s chest. She immediately crossed her arms. Lily winked at her. Quinn started to laugh.

  “Well I think you look fabulous,” Carly threw in.

  “I’m not even showing yet!”

  “You’re not showing but you’re glowing,” Carly assured her.

  “Hey,” Lily said from beside her as she gave her a nudge. “Isn’t that Tabby?”

  Quinn glanced over her shoulder. The petite redhead that had walked up to the counter to pick up a to-go order was indeed Tabitha, Luke’s current girlfriend.

  “Yeah,” Quinn agreed. “It’s her. I should probably go say ‘hi’. I’ll be right back,” she said as she slid her chair back.

  She swerved her way through the lunch crowd. She walked up to Tabitha just as she was turning, ready to leave.

  “Oh, hey, Quinn,” she said. She looked less than excited at having run into her.

  “Hi Tab. When did you two get to town?” Quinn asked. She was startled by Tabitha’s less than enthusiastic greeting but didn’t want to show it.

  Tabitha gave her a tight smile. “I’m here by myself. I’ve been here a few days. My sister came home for the weekend. Since she lives out of state now I try to coordinate my visits home with hers.”

  “Oh…” Quinn said with a frown. When she’d spotted her she’d been under the assumption that Tabitha was here for the wedding. She’d thought Tabitha was Luke’s date for both the groom’s dinner tonight and the ceremony tomorrow. “You’re not here with Luk
e?”

  “No Quinn. I’m not here with Luke. In fact, I’m not with Luke at all,” she said. Her voice was cold and her expression had hardened.

  “Oh,” Quinn said again. She was totally taken aback and rendered speechless by the unexpected behavior. She and Tabitha had never been friends exactly. But they knew each other and Tabitha had always at least been civil to her. Maybe she’s upset because of the break-up and since Luke is about to become my brother in-law, maybe that makes me the enemy by default, Quinn reasoned. Instead of asking she simply said, “I’m really sorry to hear that.” She tried to keep her voice calm and sincere because she was truly sorry. Tabitha was obviously upset and Quinn did feel bad about it.

  “Are you?” Tabitha demanded. “Are you sorry?” Her eyebrows were raised high in question. Her tone had turned sarcastic and her posture rigid.

  “Yes,” Quinn said softly. She was trying to avoid the scene she suddenly felt rushing her way. “Of course I am. I had no idea the two of you broke up. When did that happen?” she asked, trying to show her concern.

  “Oh, let’s see,” Tabitha said with a frown. “About a week after Jake announced you two were getting married.”

  Her tone was accusatory and Quinn had no idea why. She looked at her, completely bewildered. She couldn’t imagine how her relationship with Jake would have any impact on Luke’s relationship with Tabitha…

  Unless…Her mind started spinning, trying to weave a reasonable excuse out of nothing. Maybe Tabitha started pressuring Luke? Maybe she thought marriage should be in their future too and he didn’t agree? She found herself wondering it but there was no way she would ever ask. Not about something that personal when she really didn’t know Tabitha that well.

  Instead, an uncomfortable silence spread between them. Quinn desperately found herself wishing that she’d never left her seat.

  “You really don’t know, do you?” Tabitha demanded with a rude scoff. Her eyes narrowed and an unpleasant smile spread across her cheeks. She was studying Quinn intently.

  “No,” Quinn said calmly. “I don’t think I do. You seem like you’re really upset with me and I have no idea why.”

  “You don’t know that Luke has been so completely in love with…” She shook her head and pursed her lips for a moment before continuing. “Never mind. Let’s just say that no other girl has ever had a chance. I didn’t have a chance when we dated in high school. And even though you’re getting married to his brother…I still don’t stand a chance now. Let’s just say that after Jake’s big announcement Luke was beyond unbearable. When he’s miserable, it makes me miserable. I mean…yeah, he tried to hide it…But I’m not blind or stupid. I’m not going to be anyone’s second choice. Not back in high school and certainly not now.”

  “Are you implying that Luke…?” Quinn trailed off. There was no way that Tabitha meant that the way it came out. Or if she did mean it, she was very much mistaken. “Because if that’s what you think…you’re wrong. Luke and I are friends. We’ve always only ever been friends. In fact, lately, he won’t even talk to me. I don’t even remember the last time I talked to him,” Quinn admitted, hoping it would help.

  “That’s because it just about kills him every time he has to hear about how happy you are with his brother, Quinn. You would’ve probably caused him less pain if you’d cut his heart out with a butter knife.” Tabitha said this as if it should be obvious. She shifted uncomfortably as she tried to cross her arms. The brown paper bag she was holding got in the way and she had to drop them again. “Dating his brother when he’s been in love with you for years? And now getting knocked up and marrying him? It was bad enough when they shared an apartment and you two would come back there together at night. Their rooms were side by side,” she said pointedly. Quinn felt her cheeks burn. “That was just cruel. Didn’t you ever wonder why he moved away? Believe me; it wasn’t because he wanted to follow me. I wish it was. But…I’m not that lucky. I’m certainly not that important to him.”

  Quinn shook her head subtly, trying to form an argument. She opened her mouth but nothing came out. She felt the stinging prickle of tears behind her eyes. She wasn’t sure if she could blame the latest on hormones. It was nothing short of Tabitha’s accusations, cutting her deep and burning her to her core with her hatred.

  Tabitha narrowed her eyes at her again. “I can’t believe you really didn’t know,” she said, almost more to herself than to Quinn. “All this time, I always thought you were stringing him along. I even told him so,” she said unapologetically. “I thought you were keeping him close but keeping your distance, too. Then toying with his emotions by chasing after Jake.”

  “Of course I didn’t know! In fact, I’m not even sure I believe you’re right. But if you are, it was never like that! I never meant to hurt him, or you,” Quinn insisted, finally finding her voice again. She’d never toyed with Luke’s feelings. She’d never been aware of Luke’s feelings. And as for Jake? He’d been the one to actively pursue her. She’d never played games with either one of them. “We’ve always just been friends, Luke and I. That’s all it’s ever been. I swear. Luke doesn’t think of me as anything more than that.” It’s just…it’s not possible, she thought.

  “Yeah, right. Save that line of bullshit for someone who hasn’t had to deal with his shitty attitude every time someone asks him how you and Jake are doing. Or save it for someone who didn’t have their heart broken in high school because their boyfriend couldn’t keep his eyes off the cheerleading captain for more than ten seconds. Save it for someone who hasn’t heard him mutter your name in his sleep after he’s had a few too many.” Her tone was icy but her expression looked pained. Quinn’s heart slammed around in her chest because there was no way this could be true. “In other words,” Tabitha said carefully and Quinn realized she was trying to hold her voice steady because she was clearly on the verge of tears, “save it for someone who doesn’t know the truth. Good luck with your wedding.”

  It was a good thing that Tabitha chose that moment to storm away. Because Quinn was utterly, painfully speechless. She stood there, staring after her until Carly came up and placed a worried hand on her shoulder.

  “What the hell was that?” she demanded of her sister.

  “How much of it did you hear?” Quinn wondered. She glanced around the crowded restaurant. Thankfully, no one seemed to be looking their way. Other than Jemma and Lily who were emanating concern from their table on the other side of the large dining area.

  “I didn’t hear any of it. But her body language spoke volumes,” Carly said softly. “What was she so upset about?”

  “She and Luke broke up,” Quinn mumbled.

  “And that’s your fault…how…?” Carly asked, incredulously. She threw an irritated glance at Tabitha who was almost out of sight as she stormed down the sidewalk.

  “You don’t even want to know,” Quinn told her. She was blinking hard, trying to fight off tears.

  “Oh yeah, I think I do,” Carly replied. “Should I go get the girls? You look like you need to get out of here,” she said. Her voice was full of concern.

  “I’m fine,” Quinn said. She swallowed down the wretched lump in her throat. “They aren’t done eating yet. I just need a second,” she said as she blew out a breath. “And then I’ll be fine.”

  “We’re going to talk about this, though. Later?” she asked. She sensed now was not the time or the place.

  “Sure,” Quinn sighed.

  There was no way, no way at all that what Tabitha said was true. Yet…it was excruciatingly obvious that she believed it.

  Quinn shook her head, tying to clear her thoughts, as Carly grabbed her by the arm to lead her back to the table. If Luke had ever felt that way, surely she would’ve known. Right? But then she realized that she had felt that way and he’d never known.

  What if it is true? Quinn wondered.

  It wouldn’t change anything with her and Jake. But it might explain Luke’s attitude toward her lately. Had she hu
rt him? As badly as Tabitha said? If it was true…If it was true, she put herself in Luke’s place…

  Suddenly, she felt sick. He was one of the last people in the world she would ever want to hurt. But if what Tabitha said was true, and the longer Quinn spent processing it all, she started to believe that just maybe it was…Then it was no wonder he’d been avoiding her for so long.

  6

  Luke couldn’t think of a worse way to spend the weekend. Rehearsal and groom’s dinner tonight, the wedding tomorrow. Then again, he’d more or less felt that way for nearly two years now. Since the day Jake had actually done it. He’d actually stolen Quinn out from under him. He realized maybe that wasn’t exactly how it happened. But like it or not, that’s the way he felt.

  Growing up, Jake had teased him mercilessly for spending all of his time with a girl. But Quinn had been a tomboy back then. He’d actually preferred her to the boys. The other boys had always shown off, trying to outdo each other. With Quinn, he could just be himself. And she was just herself.

  By the time middle school started, she was a tomboy no longer. By seventh grade, he no longer thought of her as one of the guys. By eighth grade, he’d been desperate to kiss her. So he had. He’d even managed to use a little tongue and to his surprise, she hadn’t resisted. Then he’d ruined it all by panicking, backpedaling and telling her he’d only done it on a dare. He’d spent the next week, maybe even the next month in a state of panic worrying she’d talk to Garrison, the friend he’d blamed the dare on. He’d waited endlessly for her to call him out on it. But she never had. And he’d never dared to kiss her again.

  Story of his life where Quinn was concerned. He never had the balls to man up and ask her out. Never. And Jake had. So yeah, maybe Jake was the one that deserved her after all.

  So now, here he was, sneaking off only minutes after the rehearsal had ended. He’d grabbed a beer out of the cooler and when he thought no one was looking, he’d slunk away.

  He’d been so entrenched in his thoughts about Quinn that when he heard her say his name, at first he had thought it was just a figment of his subconscious, just a memory. The path leading around the curve in the lake was covered in soft dirt. He hadn’t heard footsteps approaching. But then he felt her hand on his shoulder as she said his name again.