Holding On Read online

  “You should definitely go rescue him,” Carly said from where she was peering out the window. “Dad’s yammering away and Jake looks like he’s about ready to bounce right out of his skin. Come on,” she said as she turned away from the window. “You need to go talk to your man.”

  3

  “Oh, baby doll,” Jake said. He pulled Quinn across the seat of his truck and into his arms. They were still parked in the driveway. Margo had called Pete back inside just as Quinn went out to meet Jake. “Is this hormones? Already?” he wondered. A small smile fought to dance on his lips.

  For just a moment she rested against him, cherishing the feeling of rightness.

  But only for a moment.

  “No,” she snapped as she pulled away from him. She sniffled and swiped at her tears. They were back again, fully flowing. She wasn’t a crier by nature and the fact that she’d spent a better part of the day sobbing had left her feeling unhinged. She grudgingly admitted to herself that maybe it was hormones. But not to Jake. “This isn’t hormones! This is me…being pissed! I tell you I’m pregnant and you walk out on me?!” Her voice was so shrill she was hurting her own ears. She smacked him across the chest. Just in case he missed how upset she was.

  “Quinn,” he said sounding surprised. “I didn’t walk out on you! I told you, I had something I needed to do!” He looked offended at the thought.

  “More important than talking to your girlfriend about the baby we’re going to have?” she demanded as she leaned away from him. “So important that when I tell you the biggest news of my life…of our lives…that you just turn around and walk away from me? Leaving me standing there? Alone?!” she emphasized for good measure. Her quaking voice and a case of the sniffles didn’t give her voice as much force as she had hoped to have.

  He scraped a hand over his face. “Okay. When you put it that way…I see how it looks.”

  She made a face at him, as if to ask what other way it could possibly look?

  “I’m so sorry,” he said. He leaned across the armrest and pulled her to him again. This time she didn’t resist. “I wasn’t thinking.” She didn’t resist because it was exactly where she wanted to be. This was how she had expected things to be from the moment the words had tumbled from her lips. He started to place, soft, sweet, comforting kisses along her hairline. Across her cheek, down her neck. “I’m sorry. You caught me off-guard,” he murmured. He had one arm around her and the other was rubbing soothing circles across her back. “Forgive me?” He had backed up just enough so that he could look her in the eye.

  “You’re not mad?” she asked. She was slightly embarrassed that her voice sounded so strangled.

  He broke into a huge grin.

  Her heart somersaulted.

  “Mad? Hell no!” he exclaimed. Then his grin fell away. “Oh, shit, is that what you thought?” He grimaced. “Is that the impression I gave you?”

  She raised her eyebrows at him as she swallowed down the last of the fading lump in her throat. When she nodded, a tear leaked out and a pained look crossed Jake’s face. She realized that her emotions were all over the place. She quickly swiped the tear away and silently cursed her hormones.

  “No,” he said softly. “Baby, no. I am so completely the opposite of mad.”

  She looped her arms around him and held on tight. Those were the words she had been aching to hear. Her head rested on his chest. In that moment, she was finally sure that everything was going to be okay.

  “I love you so much,” he murmured against her hair. “So much.”

  “I love you, too,” she whispered back.

  “That’s why I wanted to do things right,” he said, releasing her again. “I think I was in shock when you told me. But can we just…can we start over?”

  “Start over?” she echoed.

  He nodded. “Just trust me on this, okay?”

  “Okay,” she said as yet another tear seeped out. This, at least, was a tear of relief.

  He leaned over and wiped it away. “No more tears, okay? It breaks my heart to see you crying.”

  She nodded in agreement.

  He grinned at her and finally started his truck. They backed out and she realized that Carly was watching from the bedroom window again. She raised her hand in a small wave that went unnoticed by Jake. He was turned around, busy watching the street behind them as he backed out of the Johnson’s driveway.

  Carly raised her hands in a what’s-going-on kind of gesture. Quinn didn’t respond because Jake had swung his truck around and they were headed down the street.

  “Where are we going?” she asked with a frown.

  He had taken a turn that was obviously not headed to his house. That was where she had assumed he would take her. She wasn’t in the mood to go out or to do anything, really. She was physically and emotionally drained. What she really wanted was a nice, quiet night in. Preferably at Jake’s where they could have privacy while they talked things out. She was surprised that he didn’t want that as well.

  “You’ll see,” he answered. His smile had faded and now he looked nervous. “So, what do I need to know? How far along are you? When are we due? Have you seen a doctor yet? You haven’t told anyone else, have you?” he asked as he tossed a questioning glance her way. “Am I forgetting anything? I really don’t know what I should even ask.”

  “Carly is the only one that knows. She was there when I took the tests this morning,” Quinn admitted.

  He nodded. “I wish you would’ve told me. I would’ve been there for you.”

  She was quiet for a second, wishing she had done things differently. “I’m sorry. I just didn’t want to worry you unnecessarily.”

  “Worry me?” he asked as he gave her a sideways glance. “Quinn, do you have any idea how excited I am?”

  She bit her lip then smiled. She was amazed at how much things had changed in the last fifteen minutes. Then she shook her head.

  “I guess part of the reason I didn’t tell you was that I kept thinking it couldn’t be true. Up until I had the three positive tests in my hand, I just…I couldn’t believe it could be true.”

  “Three?” Jake asked with a laugh.

  She shrugged. “I wanted to be sure.”

  He was still smiling. “Well, I’m glad you’re sure. And I’m glad you at least had Carly there.”

  He didn’t sound mad. Quinn was relieved at that so she continued on.

  “I’m only a few weeks along. I haven’t seen a doctor. I mean, I just found out this morning. We’re due,” she said as she gave him a tentative smile, he gave her an elated grin back, “at the end of November. Right after Thanksgiving, I think. We went online and found a due date calculator.”

  “They have those?” he asked with raised eyebrows.

  She nodded. “They have everything on line.”

  “Oh, wow,” he breathed out heavily. “A baby. We’re really going to have a baby.”

  “Yeah,” she agreed, “we are.”

  They pulled into the city park.

  “What are we doing?” Quinn asked.

  He glanced at the dashboard clock. It was nearly seven. Then he gave her a nervous look. “Have you eaten yet?” Then he shook his head looking inexplicably disappointed. “You probably have. It’s getting pretty late.”

  “Actually,” she admitted, “I haven’t.” She had been too upset to eat.

  He gave her a relieved smile. “Perfect,” he said as he chose a parking spot.

  He got out, she followed. It was nearly April and even though the day had been unseasonably warm, the evening air was chilly. She was grateful she’d thought to grab a sweater.

  She realized he had pulled a picnic basket out of the back seat. It looked oddly familiar. She pointed at it, her expression a question mark.

  “Yeah,” he said. His grin was still plastered across his face. “It’s the same one.”

  They’d gone to an antique store last fall. Quinn had spotted a picnic basket. The old-fashioned kind; woven with a l
id that flipped open and closed. For no particular reason, she’d always thought they were really fun looking. Even though she realized they were probably not the least bit practical. Not like the small, insulated coolers people toted around these days. But she’d mentioned to Jake that she’d always wanted one, practical or not. When she’d looked at the price-tag, she’d changed her mind. Apparently the one she had looked at was a fancy-schmansy antique. The price tag reflected it.

  Her heart melted when she realized he’d gone back and gotten it for her.

  He latched his free hand around hers as he towed her across the parking lot to the grass. His other hand held the basket as well as a blanket. He led her to a spot near the lake’s edge. He finally let go of her hand to spread out the blanket.

  “Is this okay?” he asked.

  She nodded. “You left without a word so we could have a picnic?” she asked, incredulous.

  He sat and she placed herself next to him.

  “Yeah,” he said with a grin. “I’ve had this picnic planned for a really long time.”

  She shook her head at him. “That doesn’t even make sense. And I can’t believe you bought me that basket!”

  “The basket is only part of it,” he said. His expression had turned serious. “And it does make sense. Just be patient.” They’d been sitting side by side but suddenly, he moved. In seconds, he was on one knee, kneeling in front of her.

  She opened her mouth to speak, but he placed a finger over her lips. He hadn’t needed to do that because no words were willing to make an appearance.

  “This isn’t exactly how I’d planned on doing this,” he said. “I’d always envisioned us having a romantic picnic first. But we’ll do it a little backwards.”

  “You’ve envisioned this?” she managed to get out.

  “So many times,” he admitted. “I’ve been planning this for months. I even had the date picked out. I was going to wait until the weekend after you graduated. I had wanted to take you up to the mountains. I thought we could stay at a bed and breakfast. I thought we’d be up late, sleep in late,” he said with a devilish grin. “Then I’d planned on packing a picnic lunch and taking you to some beautiful park. But,” he said with an unapologetic shrug, “I don’t want to wait that long. Not now. So I’m improvising.” His hand slid into his pocket, pulling out the small, tell-tale box. “Quinn Marie Johnson, I never thought it would be possible to love someone as much as I love you. The past year and a half…it’s been amazing. Incredible. I cannot picture my future without you in it. I couldn’t before and after today…There is no way I can live without you. Please tell me you feel the same way. Please tell me that you’ll marry me.”

  He opened the box and the small hinges popped. Inside was the most beautiful ring she’d ever seen. It was an enormous triangular shaped diamond. A trillion. Her favorite cut because of its uniqueness. She realized she had mentioned it ages ago, not really expecting him to be paying attention at the time.

  She nodded and whispered. “Yes, yes of course I’ll marry you.”

  He placed the ring on her finger and the moment he did, she launched herself at him. She knocked him over but he didn’t complain. He pulled her mouth down to his so he could place a sultry kiss on her lips. She let out a happy little whimper as she melted into him. His mouth moved with hers in a rhythm that was comfortable and familiar. The kiss was full of love, security and the promise of a future. His hands skimmed over her back, pulling her close. She groaned in disappointment when he finally pulled away.

  “I promise you, I will spend every day for the rest of my life making the two of you happy,” he told her. He rolled them both over so she was on her side next to him. He leaned back in to place a light kiss on her nose.

  “I just can’t believe this,” Quinn admitted. “You hadn’t mentioned marriage for so long…I’d started to wonder if you’d changed your mind.”

  He gave her a guilty smile as he sat up again. “I was afraid if I kept bringing it up, I wouldn’t be able to keep it a surprise,” he admitted as he pulled her back up, too.

  He reached into the picnic basket and pulled out two champagne flutes and a bottle.

  “Um,” she said as she pointed to her stomach. “Did you forget already? There’s a tiny little jellybean floating around in here.”

  Jake gave her an offended look.

  “Non-alcoholic,” he stressed with a smug grin. He pointed at the words on the bottle. With his free hand, he reached toward her belly, placing his palm flat against it. “No alcohol for you little slugger. Not for a long, long time, anyway.” The words were aimed in the same direction.

  He did not just talk to my belly, did he? she wondered. She realized that yes, yes he had. She wanted to burst into tears all over again. Instead, a small sniffle escaped.

  “In all the time I’ve known you, I’ve never seen you cry. Now twice in one day. Are you sure it’s not hormones?” he demanded with a cocky grin.

  She shrugged. She had never felt such a storm of emotions in one day. “It might be. And what do you mean by slugger?” she demanded with a giggle.

  “Boys tend to run in our family,” he explained. Then his voice turned into a teasing, theatrical tone as he said, “Us McGraths? We have manly sperm.” He shrugged. “My dad’s got two brothers and it’s just me and Luke. My cousins on Dad’s side are almost all boys. Jill’s the only girl. Manly sperm,” he reaffirmed.

  She couldn’t help but laugh. “And if it’s not? If you’re um, manly sperm is an anomaly?”

  His eyes twinkled and he leaned toward her tummy again. He cupped his hands over his mouth—making an imaginary megaphone—and whispered loudly. “If you end up being Daddy’s little princess instead of Daddy’s little slugger, it’s fine by me. I promise I’ll love you just as much. But just be warned, you’re still going to play catch with me. And I’m still going to take you fishing. And I’ll probably try to get you to play football, too.”

  “And dolls,” Quinn pointed out, trying to picture it. A heart-melting vision of Jake sitting at a tiny wooden table, surrounded by stuffed animals flickered through her head. It caused her to smile. “And tea parties. Possibly ballet lessons…”

  “Absolutely,” he said with a happy sigh. “I draw the line at being asked to wear make-up. But anything else is fair game.”

  She smiled thinking that if the time did come and he had a little princess begging to play dress up…She thought he’d probably cave. She could tell already that boy or girl their child was going to have Daddy wrapped firmly around its precious little finger.

  “So this is why you left.” It was more of a statement than a question.

  He nodded. “I wanted to surprise you. It’s always been my intention to surprise you.”

  “I was surprised alright!” she admitted. “How long have you had the ring?”

  He shrugged and smiled mischievously. “A while. Let’s leave it at that.”

  Quinn wanted to know just how long but she decided to let it go. For now.

  “I had everything at home. Well, the picnic basket. I recall you mentioned that you thought the old-fashioned kind was romantic?” He was right. She’d forgotten but she had said that. It was her reason for liking them so much. “So I went back the next day and bought it. I already had the ring by that point.” Quinn blinked in surprise. That had been almost half a year ago. “I already told you my original plan. I was going to wait until you were done with school. I really did have a whole romantic getaway planned. Obviously, things got switched up a bit. So when I left, I stopped at the deli and got the food and the non-alcoholic champagne. Then I headed home for the basket, the ring, the blanket…I’m sorry I left like I did. I obviously wasn’t thinking clearly. I just felt like I had to get out of there. Otherwise I would’ve just asked you to marry me right then and there.” He reached up and slid a hand across her cheek. “I’ve known you most of my life. Once we finally started dating, I swear, I knew almost since the start that I wanted you in my life f
orever. But I wanted to do it right. I wanted to make it special. Did I do okay?”

  She was sure she was beaming at him. He looked nervous. As though he might truly have disappointed her. “You did awesome,” she assured him.

  “We have so much to talk about. I know how your parents feel about you living in the dorm. But maybe under the circumstances…?” He faded off and she nodded. “I mean, what if you end up with morning sickness? The dorm is no place for that. Not to mention that I simply want you with me. I don’t want to miss a second of this. I know they don’t believe in living together until after marriage. They might just have to settle for engaged. Although I do want to get married as soon as possible. How do you feel about that?” he asked, finally stopping the flow of excited words. The look he gave her was hopeful.

  “I feel like I’d like to get married before I’m as big as a house,” she mumbled around a smile.

  “You won’t be as big as a house,” he chided. “You’ll be perfect and beautiful. Just like you always are.”

  Her eyes wandered toward her new picnic basket and her stomach rumbled. “Do you know what else I am? Starving. The two of us are starving.”

  “That’s my boy,” he said as he reached forward and gave her tummy a pat.

  4

  It was early morning, just after dawn. The shades were drawn but the slightest bit of daylight shone through the hazy gray of the bedroom. Though it was Saturday Jake was awake out of habit. During the summer, the company’s busy months when so many new houses were going up, he put in long days. That meant sometimes being on the jobsite shortly after sunrise. But he had no intention of getting up yet.

  Quinn was sleeping soundly. Her strawberry blond mass of curls splayed out against his black pillow case. A few wild, curly stray strands were spread across her cheek. He gently brushed them away so he could have an unobstructed view of her face.

  Quinn was sweet. She was smart. She was gorgeous and feisty and loving. And she was all his. Even though the ring had been on her hand for several days now, he still had a hard time wrapping his head around it. He had wanted this for so long. Sometimes it still seemed too good to be true. The baby…He couldn’t be more excited.